Labor of Love

Tom’s heart held him frozen in cheek to cheek contact with his newborn son. Named after his wife’s father, Jeremy was the bouncing baby boy that Tom and Sam had always wanted. A hefty four point five kilograms and just like his father, Jeremy was already a giant of sorts. He had those swirling blue eyes, a gift from his mother. And that button of a nose. Tom held onto that velvet-skinned cheek for one more extended moment and then pulled away. A single tear and a smile emerged. In his arms was his first-born and he loved him with all his heart.

Tom looked over to the bed beside him. They were no longer in the labor ward. After a prolonged and exhausting birth, Sam had been moved to high care. They had explained to Tom that her womb hadn’t contracted as it should have. In a daze he had only heard the first sentence of that stoic but cutting encounter. Even before that address he knew that something was wrong. Something awry with the way his wife smiled. What they went on to tell him was that she was bleeding from her womb. Bleeding for longer than was usual. According to them, it had something to do with the prolonged labor. That was two day’s ago and one surgery later.

And still she lay. Tubes and monitors invading what should have been a sacred space. Mother and child. And father. The rise and fall of her chest made him feel uneasy but so did the warmth of her flesh. They were both a lie to which he refused to enjoy. He looked down at his son once more. He wondered what would happen – a life without a mother. Before all of this he wasn’t even sure he had wanted children. It was Sam who had convinced him with her mothering smile and tender heart. But now she was drifting. Drifting between one world and another. He looked out of the window in attempt to forget, but it did nothing to ease his pain. In the distance he saw a shadow of a tree. It was her he thought. Dancing. Dancing in the wind and moving with the sun. Though her body lay beside him, he knew in his heart that she was out there. Somewhere. Dancing in the wind and moving with the sun. He got up from his chair and a carefully lay Jeremy beside her.

Next of kin had to make the decision and for Tom it was time.